Squares

Sarah Palin is the squarest woman in all fifty United States. I mean, sure, she's wearing, like, Russ Meyer leather, but she opens her mouth and the squarest shit comes out of it, like the musty, loser gag about teleprompters, and John McCain laughs like a square old man at the speaking skills of one of the most eloquent men in America.



The team is back together again. The losing team.

Here's what the squares are doing: they're getting their backs up. They're lying about being attacked to to take the pressure off themselves for their enabling hate rhetoric:

The call to arms was issued at 5:55 a.m. last Friday.

"To all modern Sons of Liberty: THIS is your time. Break their windows. Break them NOW."

These were the words of Mike Vanderboegh, a 57-year-old former militiaman from Alabama, who took to his blog urging people who opposed the historic health-care reform legislation -- he calls it "Nancy Pelosi's Intolerable Act" -- to throw bricks through the windows of Democratic offices nationwide.

"So, if you wish to send a message that Pelosi and her party [that they] cannot fail to hear, break their windows," Vanderboegh wrote on the blog, Sipsey Street Irregulars. "Break them NOW. Break them and run to break again. Break them under cover of night. Break them in broad daylight. Break them and await arrest in willful, principled civil disobedience. Break them with rocks. Break them with slingshots. Break them with baseball bats. But BREAK THEM."

In the days that followed, glass windows and doors were shattered at local Democratic Party offices and the district offices of House Democrats from Arizona to Kansas to New York. At least 10 Democratic lawmakers reported death threats, incidents of harassment or vandalism at their offices over the past week, and the FBI and Capitol Police are offering lawmakers increased protection.

The kicker:

Vanderboegh said he once worked as a warehouse manager but now lives on government disability checks. He said he receives $1,300 a month because of his congestive heart failure, diabetes and hypertension.

Those crazy squares with their "hypocrisy" and violence entwined together, like a cocktail, flavored with Malatov. You know, criminality.

There's no problem with squares when they chill out and just act like human beings. But when they get their dander up with lies and the type of profound irresponsibility they claim to hate in others, they are deserving of ridicule. And everybody else -- regular folks -- laugh at them.



And in November keep America moving forward by defeating them yet again.