#NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

Colbert strikes again. Sen. Jon Kyl (R-AZ) lied openly on the Senate floor about Planned Parenthood, claiming that 90% of Planned Parenthood's services are abortions. When his office was called with the FACT that the actual figure is 3%, they claimed that Sen. Kyl's remarks into the official Congressional record were, in fact, "not intended to be a factual statement." In other words, Sen. Jon Kyl is officially a liar.

For Colbert, of course, who coined the phrase "truthiness" as the lies that feel true due to fitting our steadfast preconceived ideology, hence repeated over and over by organs of the Right like Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, Michelle Bachman, Sarah Palin, etc. until George Orwell spins all the way out of his grave and straight into Newt Gingrich's skull. Birtherism is truthiness. I'd argue that 90% of Tea Party nonsense is as well. And some of you would tell me that's being generous.

The upshot is an hilarious Colbert bit that didn't stop here:

The Colbert Report
Tags: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

Colbert by tweeting hilariously ridiculous lies about Sen. Kyl with the hashtag as his fig leaf:

Jon Kyl is an accomplished nude hula dancer. He is not welcome in Hawaii. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

For the past 10 years, Jon Kyl has been two children in a very convincing Jon Kyl suit. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

Jon Kyl cheated on Sandra Bullock. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

Once a year, Jon Kyl retreats to the Arizona desert and deposits 2 million egg sacs under the sand. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

Citing religious reasons, Jon Kyl refuses to utter the number 8. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

Jon Kyl once ate a badger he hit with his car. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

Carly Simon wrote that song about Jon Kyl. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

Legally, Jon Kyl cannot be within 100 yards of Helen Mirren. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

Jon Kyl has a shrine to Scooter from the Muppet Show. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

Jon Kyl developed his own line of hair care products just so he could test them on bunnies. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

Jon Kyl was sent from the future to kill Sarah Conner. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

Which was then picked up all over the Twittosphere by fans who invented their own, and now by Senate Democrats themselves. And on the Senate floor by new fan favorite, Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand even got into the act:

“For my friends and colleagues, this is a factual statement,” Gillibrand said. “Current law already prevents federal money from paying for abortions. This has been the law of the land for over 30 years. Shutting down the government for a political argument is not only outrageous, it is irresponsible. The price for keeping the government open is this assault on women’s rights.”

And yes, I got into it as well:



What's about it is that today's GOP, for the most part, lies every day, big ones. Like the lying budget assumptions behind Rep. Paul Ryan's Republican budget -- the killing of Medicare, the lowering of taxes on the rich from 35% to 25%. Like Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker, who admitted he lied (by omission) in his campaign and lied bald-faced as Governor in his arguments for passing a ban on collective bargaining by public unions:

Asked if he had really campaigned on a plan to roll back collective bargaining rights, Walker repeatedly danced around the question, insisting he had campaigned on a “range” of promises to impose fiscal discipline. But Connolly kept pressing the point, and finally asked him point blank: Did you “explicitly” campaign on this proposal?

“No,” Walker conceded. He then went on to repeat his claim that he campaigned on a range of issues, and insistted that Wisconsinites should not have been surprised by his plan because his views on collective bargaining had long been known.

...

KUCINICH: Let me ask you about some of the specific provisions in your proposals to strip collective bargaining rights. First, your proposal would require unions to hold annual votes to continue representing their own members. Can you please explain to me and members of this committee how much money this provision saves for your state budget?

WALKER: That and a number of other provisions we put in because if you’re going to ask, if you’re going to put in place a change like that, we wanted to make sure we protected the workers of our state, so they got value out of that. [...]

KUCINICH: Would you answer the question? How much money does it save, Governor?

WALKER: It doesn’t save any.

Way to go, Scottie! You're no Tricky Dick, that's for sure.

A long but entertaining list of GOP #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatements here, click for explanations:

• Tax Cuts Pay for Themselves."
• "The Estate Tax Destroys Family Farms and Small Businesses."
• "Death Panels."
• "A Government Takeover of Health Care."
• "No American is Denied Health Care."
• "The Health Care Law Adds to the Deficit."
• "Barack Obama Was Not Born in the United States."
• "Barack Obama is a Muslim."
• "Public Employees Are Overpaid."
• "We Went to War [with Iraq] Because We Were Attacked."
• "Abortion Causes Cancer and Psychological Trauma for Women."

The Not Intended to be Factual Party. Someone is finally calling them out.

Starting with Sen. Jon Kyl's staff calling him out themselves.

American Freedom Zombies

Even the undead are coming out into the streets against Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker (R), himself an undead Richard Nixon.

The dead walking starts @ 1:02:



What do we want? Brains!

When do we want them? Now!

Meltdown Approaching

On another day it would make sense to write about the the economic injustice in Michigan, where newly elected Gov. Rick Snyder (R) has given his corporate buddies an 86% tax cut and is making it up with, I kid you not, a 31% middle class tax hike. You know, class warfare.

Or maybe I'd write about newly elected Gov. Scott Walker (R) being heckled by large crowds everywhere he goes in Wisconsin. Or about newly elected Gov. John Kasich (R) in Ohio whose approval ratings are now completely upside down. Get ready for another seesaw election in 2012.

I wanted to write about the wussy National Rifle Association, who's Chief Executive, Wayne LaPierre, declined to meet with President Obama to discuss a sensible approach to gun control. He's probably a birther.

Then there's the news that the king of all LSD makers, Owsley Stanley, just died in an auto accident in Australia. Flashback while driving, perhaps?

But all that news is dwarfed by the nightmare of multiple nuclear reactor failure in Japan, radiation leaks, plant evacuations and impending meltdown:

Japan faced the likelihood of a catastrophic nuclear accident Tuesday morning, as an explosion at the most crippled of three reactors at the Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Station damaged its crucial steel containment structure, emergency workers were withdrawn from the plant, and a fire at a fourth reactor spewed large amounts of radioactive material into the air, according to official statements and industry executives informed about the developments.

...

They initially suggested that the damage was limited and that emergency operations aimed at cooling the nuclear fuel at three stricken reactors with seawater would continue. But industry executives said that in fact the situation had spiraled out of control and that all plant workers needed to leave the plant to avoid excessive exposure to radioactive leaks.

If all workers do in fact leave the plant, the nuclear fuel in all three reactors is likely to melt down, which would lead to wholesale releases of radioactive material — by far the largest accident of its kind since the Chernobyl disaster 25 years ago.

...

“It’s way past Three Mile Island already,” said Frank von Hippel, a physicist and professor at Princeton. “The biggest risk now is that the core really melts down and you have a steam explosion.”

And expect that radiation to travel - around the world...to us:

We’re all exposed to a certain amount of radioactivity from natural background sources. Americans old enough to have lived during the era of atmospheric nuclear tests have some amount of radioactive residue from those tests. Today, tiny amounts of radioactivity from Chinese nuclear tests can still travel to the US on the wind.

“The question is not can it reach us. The question is, in what concentration,” says Daniel Hirsch, a lecturer in nuclear policy at the University of California, Santa Cruz, and president of the Committee to Bridge the Gap, a nonprofit that works to expose what it says are the dangers of nuclear power.

Prevailing winds in Japan blow west to east, notes Mr. Hirsch. Radioactive materials released by the current crisis would take about four days to reach Alaska and another day or so to reach the continental US.

Prayers welcome.

End Run in Madison

So Gov. Scott Walker got his GOP legislature to break apart the union-busting bill in order to pass the union-busting part of it:

With all 14 Democrats absent, having fled the state weeks ago in order to block the three-fifths budget quorum, the bill passed by an 18-1 margin, with only moderate Republican Dale Schultz voting no.

Per state Democratic party chairman Mike Tate:

"Using tactics that trample on the traditions of our Legislature, the Republican leadership has betrayed our state. Republicans have rubber-stamped the desire of the Koch Brothers and their godshead Scott Walker to cripple Wisconsin's middle class and lower benefits and wages for every single wage-earner in our state. The vote does nothing to create jobs, does nothing to strengthen our state, and shows finally and utterly that this never was about anything but raw political power. We now put our total focus on recalling the eligible Republican senators who voted for this heinous bill. And we also begin counting the days remaining before Scott Walker is himself eligible for recall."

This is going to be interesting, especially as Chief Justice John Roberts led the Supreme Court to the Citizens United decision that opened the floodgates to Koch Family cash for this past election and for the recall elections ahead. All their money and astroturfing against people like those who have re-taken the Wisconsin Capitol building:

After the State Senate republicans' unprecedented move earlier tonight, the Capitol was closed and all the doors locked, keeping out the thousands of protestors outside. Just now, protestors inside opened the door on the State Street side of the building to allow in those outside. State troopers ran to hold the doors but could not stop the flow of the crowd and soon gave up, allowing all the doors on that side to be opened.

The legislation itself is a rightwing Christmas tree, giving the Governor the power to fire and workers for striking, and giving the legislature the power to disqualify citizens from medical benefits, and more. But will the legislative trick hold up in court? Per a TPM reader:

It's not just the budget bill needs a quorum -- the big issue is that *any* bill with fiscal implications is supposed to have a quorum in the Wisconsin state Senate. So there are two choices here:

1. Collective bargaining has fiscal implications, and so the bill will be blocked in the courts and ruled unconstitutional.

2. Collective bargaining DOES NOT have direct fiscal implications, and Gov. Walker has been lying this entire time by making the case that it's fiscally necessary.

So either the state R's just passed an illegal bill, or Walker has been lying this entire time and really is just interested in union-busting.

I go with both.

Michigan, Too

The new Republican Governor demanding autocratic rule:

The governor of Michigan is trying to force through the legislature a bill that would establish emergency rule, LITERALLY. Gov. Snyder is seeking emergency powers that would enable him to 1) unilaterally declare a "financial emergency", 2) disincorporate entire municipal governments, 3) dismiss elected officials with no replacement election to follow, 4) seize control of local civil services, 5) hand taxpayer money, services and POWERS to private, for-profit firms.

And more of the same in Florida, with even Gov. Rick Scott's Republican comrades railing against him...for canceling much-needed high-speed rail:

“The governor doesn’t understand there is a State Constitution and that we have three branches of government,” said State Senator Mike Fasano, a Republican from New Port Richey who upset Mr. Scott with rough handling of his staff during a testy committee hearing. “They are talking about the attitude that he is still the C.E.O. of his former health care corporation, and that is not going to work in this state, in Tallahassee, in my district. The people believe in three branches of government.”

Republican lawmakers in Florida were hoping for a smoother transition. Instead, they say, they got top-down management from a political novice.

Oh, and Scott wannabe Nixon is lying again.

Midwest Psycho Update

Wisconsin continues to spiral thanks to Gov. Scott Walker's disingenuous intransigence on his self-proclaimed collective bargaining "bomb." Now the GOP legislators have taken to (a) fining the Dems $100/day each for staying out of state due to lack of compromise, and (b) trying to make prank phone calls illegal, as in the one that exposed Walker's cynical strategy of lies.

The good news is that Walker and his Koch-led actions have engendered a huge backlash, now translating into citizen-initiated recall efforts, today backed by the state's Democratic Party. This begins by targeting those Republican State Senators who are eligible for recall, having served for more than a year. Will any flinch? Does any one of them want to be spending future campaign cash, time, energy and mental effort of beating back a recall? And possibly losing?

While propaganda outlet Fox News appears to be intentionally using unrelated footage in their lies characterizing the protests, ads and videos in support of the protesters are hitting the airways. Here's a Web version:



Gov. John Kasich and his fellow GOP legislature in Ohio is similarly voting to gut union rights:

The GOP-backed measure that would restrict the collective bargaining rights of roughly 350,000 teachers, firefighters, police officers and other public employees squeaked through the state Senate on a 17-16 vote. Six Republicans sided with Democrats against the measure.

Firefighters and teachers shouted "Shame!" in the chamber as the legislation was approved and moved on to the GOP-controlled House, where it is likely to receive strong support.

The bill is similar to the Republican-supported collective bargaining bill in the Wisconsin legislature that has sparked national debate in its weakening of public employees' ability to negotiate contracts – although there are differences between the two. Wisconsin's bill exempts police and firefighters from the collective bargaining restrictions, while Ohio's does not.

It turns out it took Republican committee leadership trickery to bring the bill to the legislature floor:

Pushing the bill through the Senate has been tough for supporters of the plan, with the Republican leader of the state Senate removing two Republicans opposed to the measure to get the bill to the Senate floor today.

Those two Republicans, Sens. Bill Seitz and Scott Oelslager, voted no. So did four of their GOP colleagues: Sens. Jim Hughes, Tim Grendell, Tom Patton and Gayle Manning. All 10 of the 33-member state Senate's Democrats also voted no.

Now the bill moves to the House, where Republicans have a 59-40 advantage.

And guess what -- the bill isn't really just about balancing the state's budget. There's a whole lot more ideology embedded in this travesty as well:

In Ohio's legislation to curtail public sector union collective bargaining rights - just passed by the Senate - the following passage exists:

Sec. 3101.01 of S.B. 5: ... A marriage may only be entered into by one man and one woman. Any marriage between persons of the same sex is against the strong public policy of this state. Any marriage between persons of the same sex shall have no legal force or effect in this state and, if attempted to be entered into in this state, is void ab initio and shall not be recognized by this state. The recognition or extension by the state of the specific statutory benefits of a legal marriage to non-marital relationships between persons of the same sex or different sexes is against the strong public policy of this state. Any public act, record or judicial proceeding of this state, as defined in section 9.82 of the Revised Code, that extends the specific statutory benefits of legal marriage to non-marital relationships between persons of the same sex or different sexes is void.

So a blanket and total ban on any form of legal protections for gay couples, including any semblance of even domestic partnerships or civil unions, is, as one Republican put it, the "first big step in restoring fiscal responsibility in Ohio." And so the Tea Party slowly reveals itself.

I'm wondering if the GOP braintrust is ready for all the lawsuits their legislation and means of passing it are about to trigger.

Keep 'em tied up in court, I say.

Remorseful Cheeseheads

It turns out that Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker is less popular than when he was elected just this past November - in fact, he'd be defeated today:

...if voters in the state could do it over today they'd support defeated Democratic nominee Tom Barrett over Scott Walker by a a 52-45 margin.

We try to warn voters about these crony capitalist Republicans, but sometimes Voldamort has to rise again before enough people take the threat seriously. Per the Center for American Progress:

The chart below compares the 10 safety-net programs slated for deep cuts with the cost of the tax breaks that should also be considered for reduction or elimination to bring the budget into balance. The column on the left is a list of safety-net programs that have already been targets of the House leadership’s budget ax. The column on the right is the cost to specified tax breaks:

Now get ready for the loss of another three-quarter of a million jobs...thanks to the GOP House of Representatives, from Talking Points Memo:

According to Moody's chief economist Mark Zandi -- who the Washington Post reports "has advised both political parties" -- Republican plans to slash government spending will impact the GDP in such a way that would eliminate hundreds of thousands of jobs this year and the next.

From the report:

The House Republicans' proposal would reduce 2011 real GDP growth by 0.5% and 2012 growth by 0.2 percentage points This would mean some 400,000 fewer jobs created by the end of 2011 and 700,000 fewer jobs by the end of 2012.

Republicans were nonplussed by the findings.

Of course they were. They don't care, as long as that Koch Family cash keeps rolling in.

BTW, Americans support the right of public unions to collective bargaining by almost 2:1.

And Gov. Rick Perry (R-TX) blocks journalists from following his tweets. Not quite at the level of a Middle East dictator blocking the Internet, just somewhere on the spectrum.

Who can't handle the truth?

Nixon Wannabe

Gov. Scott Walker (R-WI) is like Richard Nixon without the professionalism. He was prank called on Wednesday by someone claiming to be a Koch brother and stayed on the line revealing his planned deceptions and general toadying up to oil wealth for twenty minutes.

Twenty minutes. Think about that. Twenty minutes without the prank caller from The Beast making him suspicious, even when he said:

Koch: We’ll back you any way we can. What we were thinking about the crowd was, uh, was planting some troublemakers.

Walker: You know, well, the only problem with that —because we thought about that. The problem—the, my only gut reaction to that is right now the lawmakers I’ve talked to have just completely had it with them, the public is not really fond of this…[explains that planting troublemakers may not work.] My only fear would be if there’s a ruckus caused is that maybe the governor has to settle to solve all these problems…[something about '60s liberals.]…Let ‘em protest all they want…Sooner or later the media stops finding it interesting.

That means that this is the way the Koch brothers talk to the politicians they've purchased and furnished with ideological claptrap designed to take America back -- to the Robber Baron Era. It's exactly as bad as the worst you think. Because if they're considering planting agitators, you know that they've done it before.

Liar Walker's denial is hilarious: "I take phone calls all the time." What the hell does that even mean? I take phone calls from my corporate overlords all the time?

I'm just wondering which Koch brother has made his feelings known to toady Walker about this boneheaded screw up.

Like mobsters, they may have to stop talking on the phone. Do something with burners and codes, a la The Wire. After all, is this prosecutable, arguably taking an implied bribe:

Murphy: [Laughs] Well, I tell you what, Scott: Once you crush these bastards I’ll fly you out to Cali (California) and really show you a good time.

Walker: All right, that would be outstanding. Thanks for all the support in helping us move the cause forward, and we appreciate it, and we’re doing it the just and right thing for the right reasons and it’s all about getting our freedoms back.

He's revealed his strategy for all to see. He didn't campaign on ending collective bargaining, he's deliberately taking eyes off the banks that got the states into debt, and if his governorship doesn't crumble to the point of legislative failure (i.e. pressure on Republican legislators who don't want to be recalled or voted out next time) it will be a huge victory for him, the GOP crony con (including their conning of their easiest dupes, the tea partiers) and the Koch brothers.

It's rfall at Daily Kos who provides the most apt analysis of the call, and the most chilling:

What I haven't heard a lot about it the one thing which leapt out at me when listening to the tape after my years in corporate life.

Walker sounds exactly like someone who is in a one-on-one meeting with his boss.

He provides status on what he's doing and plans to do.

He provides rationalizations for his actions which he thinks his boss might not like.

He makes promises as to what he plans to do, things the boss wants done.

He expresses false bravado, trying to be a "good enforcer" to his boss.

In summary, he sounds like he's not talking to a Wisconsin citizen, or even a campaign contributor, but someone to whom he's clearly beholden for his job.

As I've heard it said about success in the corporate world: It's all about the reporting. Well, in some ways it's now like a bestselling political thriller.

True motives and relationships have been revealed.

Koch Head

Freshman Republican Gov. Scott Walker of the great state of Wisconsin is one of the guys (per Forbes) fueled by the Koch Brothers, doing their bidding in his now seemingly rash attempt to steal the rights of public unions to collectively bargain under the guise of reducing the deficit, in a Shock Doctrine of his own making:



People are starting to think Walker is an asshole, and he's just upping the ante with "dire" layoff threats. Sieg heil. But other GOP Governors are already distancing themselves from trying to eliminate the worker's universal right to collective bargaining. With US union membership down to maybe 11% of the national workforce. And there's definitely shock resistance engaged and in motion.

Meanwhile, in Chicago, Rahm had a most excellent night.

Wisconsin on the Nile

So Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) opened the door by comparing the current state of unrest in Wisconsin with the revolution in Egypt. Maybe some staffer handed him this hi-larious talking point, but doesn't he realize that the Governor of Wisocnsin, Scott Walker, is a Republican like him? Doesn't he realize this makes his own party the bad guys?

Former Wisconsin Rep. David Obey, a Democrat, picked up on Ryan's ill-thought out meme:

"All I know is that last week, when people were asking where Mubarak was -- whether he had gone to Sharm el-Sheikh or Paris -- I was saying he was ensconced in the governor's mansion in Madison," Obey said in a telephone interview with TPM.

"I think what Gov. Walker is trying to do amounts to political thuggery," Obey continued. "It is one thing to say that these are tough times -- everybody's got to cut back and public employees are going to have to take cuts like the rest of us ... but he's using it as an excuse to gut the ability of workers to organize and bargain collectively. In my view that's outrageous -- and what is especially outrageous is his demand that the legislature pass this in a week's time."

In fact, there would be not shortfall in that state's budget had not the new Republican Governor created it -- by the very economic policies he put into place during his first days in office:

One Wisconsin Now, the progressive watchdog group that has provided the closest monitoring of Walker’s budgetary gamesmanship, explains:

“Since his inauguration in early January, Walker has approved $140 million in new special-interest spending that includes:

“• $25 million for an economic development fund for job creation that still has $73 million due to a lack of job creation. Walker is creating a $25 million hole which will not create or retain jobs.

“• $48 million for private health savings accounts, which primarily benefit the wealthy. A study from the federal Governmental Accountability Office showed the average adjusted gross income of HSA participants was $139,000 and nearly half of HSA participants reported withdrawing nothing from their HSA, evidence that it is serving as a tax shelter for wealthy participants.

“• $67 million for a tax shift plan, so ill-conceived that at best the benefit provided to ‘job creators’ would be less than a dollar a day per new job, and may be as little as 30 cents a day.”

State Rep. Mark Pocan, D-Madison, sums up this scheming accurately when he says: “In one fell swoop, Gov. Walker is trying to institute a sweeping radical and dangerous notion that will return Wisconsin to the days when land barons and railroad tycoons controlled the political elites in Madison.”

And now to complete his plan, Gov. Walker wants to balance it on the back of state workers -- that means, yes, teachers and everybody whom citizens depend on for basic services and to handle certain problems except police and firefighters -- while decimating their right to collective bargaining.

GOP? USSR.