Thursday, April 14, 2011


Colbert strikes again. Sen. Jon Kyl (R-AZ) lied openly on the Senate floor about Planned Parenthood, claiming that 90% of Planned Parenthood's services are abortions. When his office was called with the FACT that the actual figure is 3%, they claimed that Sen. Kyl's remarks into the official Congressional record were, in fact, "not intended to be a factual statement." In other words, Sen. Jon Kyl is officially a liar.

For Colbert, of course, who coined the phrase "truthiness" as the lies that feel true due to fitting our steadfast preconceived ideology, hence repeated over and over by organs of the Right like Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, Michelle Bachman, Sarah Palin, etc. until George Orwell spins all the way out of his grave and straight into Newt Gingrich's skull. Birtherism is truthiness. I'd argue that 90% of Tea Party nonsense is as well. And some of you would tell me that's being generous.

The upshot is an hilarious Colbert bit that didn't stop here:

Colbert by tweeting hilariously ridiculous lies about Sen. Kyl with the hashtag as his fig leaf:
  • Jon Kyl is an accomplished nude hula dancer. He is not welcome in Hawaii. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
  • For the past 10 years, Jon Kyl has been two children in a very convincing Jon Kyl suit. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
  • Jon Kyl cheated on Sandra Bullock. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
  • Once a year, Jon Kyl retreats to the Arizona desert and deposits 2 million egg sacs under the sand. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
  • Citing religious reasons, Jon Kyl refuses to utter the number 8. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
  • Jon Kyl once ate a badger he hit with his car. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
  • Carly Simon wrote that song about Jon Kyl. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
  • Legally, Jon Kyl cannot be within 100 yards of Helen Mirren. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
  • Jon Kyl has a shrine to Scooter from the Muppet Show. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
  • Jon Kyl developed his own line of hair care products just so he could test them on bunnies. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
  • Jon Kyl was sent from the future to kill Sarah Conner. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
  • Which was then picked up all over the Twittosphere by fans who invented their own, and now by Senate Democrats themselves. And on the Senate floor by new fan favorite, Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand even got into the act:

    “For my friends and colleagues, this is a factual statement,” Gillibrand said. “Current law already prevents federal money from paying for abortions. This has been the law of the land for over 30 years. Shutting down the government for a political argument is not only outrageous, it is irresponsible. The price for keeping the government open is this assault on women’s rights.”

    And yes, I got into it as well:

    What's about it is that today's GOP, for the most part, lies every day, big ones. Like the lying budget assumptions behind Rep. Paul Ryan's Republican budget -- the killing of Medicare, the lowering of taxes on the rich from 35% to 25%. Like Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker, who admitted he lied (by omission) in his campaign and lied bald-faced as Governor in his arguments for passing a ban on collective bargaining by public unions:
    Asked if he had really campaigned on a plan to roll back collective bargaining rights, Walker repeatedly danced around the question, insisting he had campaigned on a “range” of promises to impose fiscal discipline. But Connolly kept pressing the point, and finally asked him point blank: Did you “explicitly” campaign on this proposal?

    “No,” Walker conceded. He then went on to repeat his claim that he campaigned on a range of issues, and insistted that Wisconsinites should not have been surprised by his plan because his views on collective bargaining had long been known.


    KUCINICH: Let me ask you about some of the specific provisions in your proposals to strip collective bargaining rights. First, your proposal would require unions to hold annual votes to continue representing their own members. Can you please explain to me and members of this committee how much money this provision saves for your state budget?

    WALKER: That and a number of other provisions we put in because if you’re going to ask, if you’re going to put in place a change like that, we wanted to make sure we protected the workers of our state, so they got value out of that. [...]

    KUCINICH: Would you answer the question? How much money does it save, Governor?

    WALKER: It doesn’t save any.
    Way to go, Scottie! You're no Tricky Dick, that's for sure.

    A long but entertaining list of GOP #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatements here, click for explanations:
    The Not Intended to be Factual Party. Someone is finally calling them out.

    Starting with Sen. Jon Kyl's staff calling him out themselves.

    No comments: