Perry the Drunk

Texas Governor Rick Perry was clearly in his cups when he made this speech to Republicans in his quest for their Presidential nomination this past Friday in Manchester, NH:



Yet another disqualification for the Presidency -- at least W had the good sense to be a dry drunk by the time he hit the Oval Office. Although, I'd say his crazy 20% optional Flat Tax plan that he just released and touted -- i.e., a 14% tax drop for the 1% on top of our economy -- is disqualification enough.

And there's a brilliant expose by Matt Taibbi in the new Rolling Stone, "The Best Little Whore in Texas." It turns out Rick Perry is all about favors -- he'll giveaway any government funds you want if you contribute enough money to his campaigns:

But it's an act that should have ended after just a few steps down the rope, when he slipped up in the Orlando debate and told the truth.

Among other attacks that night, Perry was taking criticism for his decision back in 2007 to order all sixth-grade girls in Texas to be inoculated against HPV – specifically, with three shots of Gardasil vaccine, a Merck product that sells for a tidy $120 a shot. Michele Bachmann, who not only hates the move as an intrusive use of state power but probably also because it interferes with God's ability to administer punitive cancers to dabblers in extramarital sex, blasted Perry for delivering such a blatant favor to his corporate buddies at Merck. "We cannot forget that in the midst of this executive order, there is a big drug company that made millions of dollars because of this mandate," she said, pointing out that Perry's former chief of staff was the chief lobbyist for Merck.

Perry's response was telling. "It was a $5,000 contribution that I had received from them," he said. "I raised about $30 million. And if you're saying that I can be bought for $5,000, I'm offended."

The Orlando crowd applauded nervously, not quite grasping what Perry had just said. Had the debate taken place in Austin, however, the crowd would have erupted in knowing laughter. Rick Perry, as any Texan knows, does not roll over for 5,000 measly dollars. He charges a hell of a lot more than that. The price tag varies, of course, depending on the favor. Based on the donations Perry has collected, it costs an average of $39,354 to buy a seat on the board of a state university. Landing a state road project runs about half a million, while creating an entire government commission specifically designed to protect your business interests will run you more than $13 million.

I'm looking forward to the eventual investigation(s). Texas law may somehow allow it, but it's still called graft.

Down at the Saloon

Wild west time in four states where the NRA has enough GOoPers in the legislature to make it legal to bring your (permitted) handgun into any bar or restaurant. One must be reminded:

“Guns and alcohol don’t mix; that’s the bottom line,” said Michael Drescher, a spokesman for Governor Phil Bredesen of Tennessee, a Democrat, who vetoed the bill but was overridden by the legislature.

So far there's been one patron who shot himself in the foot while drinking. Can't wait for the shootouts!

Donward Spiral

There must be more copy available to read about the previous evening's episode of Mad Men every Monday morning than the day after any other show in television history. Not just reviews like from the leader, Alan Sepinwall, or reviews as from the advertising industry Ad Age POV or smart semi-civilian writers on Open Salon, but actual "erudite" discussions on sites for The New York Times, Slate and even The Wall Street Journal. So if your water cooler conversation at work or comment exchange under your Facebook status update isn't enough, there's plenty to read...and read...and read. It could take more time than watching the episode itself. And the back-to-back AMC Encore Presentation.

So here's the little I have to add to the talk about last night's themes, the main one of which appeared to be people not getting the credit they deserve or, often, thinking they aren't -- Peggy for Don's Clio, then Peggy not taking it for Rizzo's storyboard of her idea, Don for the job applicant's hack line, a drunken Duck Dunn for whatever he thought he deserved from working with the Clio emcee way back when and, best of all, Roger wanting to get credit for "hiring guys like him." When, in fact, memory/flashbacks reveal that Roger didn't hire Don -- Don got Roger drunk and the next morning made Roger think his memory lapsed and that he had hired Don.

In fact, just as Dick Whitman promoted himself to Don Draper, so did Don Draper hire himself into Sterling Cooper. This puts the four seasons of Don neglecting to thank Roger or give him credit for hiring him into perspective -- it makes sense when you realize Roger had a lot less to do with Don's success than just being well-positioned and pliable with booze.

Which leads to the biggest theme I can find this season: alcoholism. Specifically, Don Draper's alcoholism. We've seen this plot reflected in Fred Rumsen who came back thanks to AA and in Duck Dunn who lost his marriage to alcoholism and can't seem to stay on the wagon, ultimately making a public fool of himself in front of his own industry, hanging on by his fingernails and slipping off the ledge to oblivion. In both cases, healthy or promising careers were shattered by this very 20th Century disease, and if you add Roger as a third reflecting subplot, you've got a heart attack awaiting Don as well.

But for the first time the special threat to Don was revealed: alcohol twice caused him to forget who he is; that is to say, the character he has worked so hard all along at playing. At the Life cereal pitch we saw Don Draper slip away as the forelock fell and the studied professional became the desperate-to-please Dick Whitman. We could see how much his manner and voice matched that of the young Dick Whitman, fur salesman, in the flashbacks. And to make the potential for jeopardy even greater, at the wake-up moment during his lost weekend, when the sophisticated brunette copywriter in his bed Friday night morphed into the tawdry blonde coffeeshop waitress with 36 hours of blackout in-between, waitress Doris referred to our man as "Dick," revealing that in losing himself inside the bottle he had lost track of his adopted identity.

Who knows who else might have heard Dick Whitman reveal his true identity during an alcoholic blackout period?

I knew Don was over the edge when we learned he's stopped eating his meals and starting drinking them, from several episodes of his not being hungry, not eating dinner, giving up on the perfectly cooked steak in front of him without a bite. And there can only be one place this goes, especially when two of his family members have already been in therapy.

Don doesn't get out of this condition by drying out on his own. He has to have a crack up. He has to end up in a sanitarium for a spell. The water cure. The DTs. The heebie-jeebies. Pink elephants in the air and creepy crawlies all over his body.

Nobody watches Mad Men to watch typical TV-style therapeutic recoveries. It's a show about people not getting what they want or getting what they want and finding it's a punishment or a trap. It's also always about some sort of Don triumph in the last episode of each season, even as another part of his life slips away, at the expense of his family.

After next week, we'll be over the halfway point in this season, episode seven of thirteen.

Don hasn't hit rock bottom yet.

Glug Glug

As Homer Simpson once said:

“Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.”

And the media -- like many of us -- can't get enough of it:



If only Muslim's drank, Obama could solve all the problems in the Middle East with a single Happy Hour!

Dogs

Our army trained the Georgian solders who invaded South Ossetia, starting the skirmish with Russia and Putin proved ready to escalate into a war. Another colossal miscalculation by Dick Cheney behind the throne of George Bush?

With Bush and McCain echoing their willfully oblivious "21st Century countries don't invade sovereign nations" line, and McCain's close adviser also Georgia's paid lobbyist in D.C., it all is starting to look a little color-coordinated. But both Bush and McCain are spreading the poor little Georgia meme, but even Fox television can't stop the truth from slipping through.

Meanwhile, the Administration that keeps on giving is getting yet another new investigation. Ron Suskind's allegations of Dick Cheney's forgery shop has our district's Rep., the awesome Henry Waxman, call his committee back early from summer break to dig in.

Drink up, George. It's almost over. Please end in a whimper, because I don't know if we can survive another bang.

Comeback Kid

I may be wrong. Tuesday may be not as felicitous as I'd like for Sen. Barack Obama in Indiana and North Carolina.

But I'm starting to feel the comeback.

He's off the big stages and meeting with people again, like how he began this campaign. He's rolling on past "Wright" and "elitist":

“I hope I don’t get in trouble with your parents,” Obama told the kids whose hands he’d signed.

“Here comes the president,” shouted Austin, 12, who stuck around and later had Obama autograph his glove.

When Obama finally started to leave the parking lot, he announced, “I’m going to see if I might get a beer in there...”

...

“He made up my mind today,” the veteran said. “After meeting him he changed what I thought about him before. Mainly we need to get rid of what we’ve got.”

After talking to Sheneman, Obama noticed that the pool cameras were “blocking the bartender.” He looked at what the VFW members were drinking and announced: “I’m going to have a Bud.” He got some hazing and then Vic Vukovits, who works for Anheuser-Busch, shouted, “I’m going to vote for you if you drink Budweiser...”

...In the usual style, he worked the room and asked everyone where they served or what they do for work. He occasionally popped some nuts in his mouth.

Obama, sleeves rolled up and Bud can in hand, vigorously shook hands with ZZ-top-style goateed auxiliary VFW member Ken Boyer, 40, who was undecided before Obama came in. His main priorities for a president are someone that will create “just a good future, something better than what I have, for my three sons.”

“Things like this don’t happen in this town,” gushed Garrett Williams, an auxiliary member and mechanic sitting at the bar.

That's right. As if in direct response to the Newsweek cover featuring arugula (Obama) vs. beer (white working class voters), Obama went on the offensive and the now, yes, Barack Obama is the Presidential candidate you would most like to have a beer with.

(Maybe slam whisky shots one night with Hillary after this is all over and she's back in the Senate.)

And it doesn't hurt to be only about 75 superdelegates away from being the presumptive nominee.

But what gives me the greatest hope tonight, is the signal switch from former DNC head under President Bill Clinton, Indiana's Joe Andrews, from his former endorsement of Hillary Clinton today to Barack Obama, calling for fellow superdelegates to come out of the closet and end this process:



We've got something very unusual going on here, a generational change. It never goes as smoothly as the old order handing power to around to its factions. This was never going to be easy.

He's fighting to become America's champion.