Perry the Drunk

Texas Governor Rick Perry was clearly in his cups when he made this speech to Republicans in his quest for their Presidential nomination this past Friday in Manchester, NH:



Yet another disqualification for the Presidency -- at least W had the good sense to be a dry drunk by the time he hit the Oval Office. Although, I'd say his crazy 20% optional Flat Tax plan that he just released and touted -- i.e., a 14% tax drop for the 1% on top of our economy -- is disqualification enough.

And there's a brilliant expose by Matt Taibbi in the new Rolling Stone, "The Best Little Whore in Texas." It turns out Rick Perry is all about favors -- he'll giveaway any government funds you want if you contribute enough money to his campaigns:

But it's an act that should have ended after just a few steps down the rope, when he slipped up in the Orlando debate and told the truth.

Among other attacks that night, Perry was taking criticism for his decision back in 2007 to order all sixth-grade girls in Texas to be inoculated against HPV – specifically, with three shots of Gardasil vaccine, a Merck product that sells for a tidy $120 a shot. Michele Bachmann, who not only hates the move as an intrusive use of state power but probably also because it interferes with God's ability to administer punitive cancers to dabblers in extramarital sex, blasted Perry for delivering such a blatant favor to his corporate buddies at Merck. "We cannot forget that in the midst of this executive order, there is a big drug company that made millions of dollars because of this mandate," she said, pointing out that Perry's former chief of staff was the chief lobbyist for Merck.

Perry's response was telling. "It was a $5,000 contribution that I had received from them," he said. "I raised about $30 million. And if you're saying that I can be bought for $5,000, I'm offended."

The Orlando crowd applauded nervously, not quite grasping what Perry had just said. Had the debate taken place in Austin, however, the crowd would have erupted in knowing laughter. Rick Perry, as any Texan knows, does not roll over for 5,000 measly dollars. He charges a hell of a lot more than that. The price tag varies, of course, depending on the favor. Based on the donations Perry has collected, it costs an average of $39,354 to buy a seat on the board of a state university. Landing a state road project runs about half a million, while creating an entire government commission specifically designed to protect your business interests will run you more than $13 million.

I'm looking forward to the eventual investigation(s). Texas law may somehow allow it, but it's still called graft.